Building the group

Saying no to the candidate who looks perfect on paper

The most important decision a peer group makes is who is in the room. A strong member makes every meeting better. A poor fit can quietly undo years of trust. Yet many groups put more care into choosing a restaurant than choosing a member, because the candidate is impressive and the group wants to grow.

Credentials are the easy part

A résumé tells you whether someone qualifies. It does not tell you whether they will be good in the room. The qualities that matter most are harder to see: whether the person can be honest about what is not working, whether they listen as well as they talk, and whether they will protect what they hear. A candidate can have every credential and none of those.

Questions that reveal fit

Ask about a time something went wrong and what they learned. Listen for whether they take ownership or tell a story where someone else was at fault. Ask what they hope to get from the group and what they expect to give. Ask what they would not want to talk about. Ask who they would turn to today with a problem they could not share at work.

Pay attention to how they treat the conversation itself. A candidate who asks good questions about the group, and listens to the answers, usually does the same in the room.

Talk to people who know them

References chosen by the candidate will be positive. Ask them specific questions anyway: how does this person handle disagreement, what do they do when they are wrong, would you trust them with something confidential. Where you can, also talk to someone who has worked with the candidate but was not named as a reference.

Fit with this group

A candidate can be excellent and still be wrong for a particular group. Consider the mix: industry, life stage, the issues members are working on and the culture the group has built. A group of operators may struggle with a member whose world is entirely different, and a group that has learned to be direct may overwhelm someone who is not ready for it.

The right no

When the answer is no, say so clearly, kindly and quickly. Thank the candidate, explain that the fit is not right for this group and, where it is true, suggest another group or another path. A clear no protects the members who are already in the room, and it is fairer to the candidate than a slow, uncertain yes.

From Leading the Room, a book in progress by Gerry Morton on how great peer groups are led, drawn from twenty-two years in Vistage, EO, YPO and TIGER 21.